Being a Bridesmaid

Gospel Text

Matthew 25:1-13

Sermon Text

When you are the right age, somewhere in the mid 20’s, you get to go to a fair number of weddings. And, if you’re lucky, you get the extra burden/joy of being a bridesmaid or groomsman. It’s awesome to be asked. And there are responsibilities. It’s an honor and a responsibility to the people getting married, to the families and the guests to be a part of making that day a great one.

There is one wedding where I was blessed to be a bridesmaid and as usual leading up to this beautiful event in Pasadena, CA, I was living a life of too many things and not enough time. I apparently always live this way. So it is not surprising that I arrived in California not fully prepared for the wedding, like one of the bridesmaids in the gospel today.

I was ready in many ways. I had my dress altered to fit, I was on time. Not too bad. What I didn’t do was have my hair freshly colored.

I know this is a small thing, but when you have brown hair and your fake color is blonde hair, 3 inches of grown out roots is not a good look, particularly for someone else’s big day.Thankfully the bride and her family hired hairstylists and makeup artists to help us get ready and look our best. Somehow, they managed to make my Cruella Deville hair look reasonable. Phew!

Now, this is a small story, but I still feel a bit guilty 20+ years later because, as a bridesmaid, I really had one important job to do and that was to not ruin the wedding pictures with bad hair! The thing is, I was obviously comfortable walking around with Cruella Deville hair. But my readiness, or lack thereof, should not have been about me. The question wasn’t whether I was OK or comfortable. The day was about my friend and I wish I had been ready to support her and love her down to the roots of my fake blonde hair.

Thankfully I have figured out since then that I am incapable of high maintenance anything, so I am unlikely to mess up in that particular way again. Though the question remains, how are we called to be ready to be of service? Where in our lives are we feeling the call to respond to the care of others?

In our gospel today, five of the bridesmaids were ready for the big day down to the last detail, including extra oil beyond what would have been expected. They were ready, while the others were not.

When you’re a bridesmaid, it is not about you, right? You’re not the bride or the groom or even the mother of the bride. You’re there in service to others in celebration of their big day.

So, while this text may sound like it’s addressing our personal salvation and who gets into heaven and who does not, I wonder if it really is more about our readiness to love others and act on their behalf. And I wonder if the feast is about the community, the in-breaking of the Kingdom of God that opens up in our midst when we respond to injustice, suffering, or even simple moments with love, courage, and action?

This question brings to mind a story Betty Thompson tells of moving to Five Star where she lives in community with other older adults, including Betty Brown. Betty tells a wonderful story of God’s answer to her prayer shortly after her moving there. She wasn’t too pleased about the transition, leaving her home. So she brought her pain to God in prayer and she heard in response, “You are where you need to be.” What I love about Betty is she didn’t just interpret this to mean that she was only there because she had needs that needed to be met by the community and staff. She understood this to also mean that she was in the right place to be of service to others. Since then, she has made it a practice to show up in the lives of people at Five Star as someone who is prepared to serve. I have no doubt that if having her hair perfectly quaffed was a big part of serving others, Betty’s hair would be just right down to the roots. Thankfully that’s not a part of the job. Phew!

I know many of you have similar stories of responding to life’s changes and challenges by responding with love and care for others. Of course, you have! Last week, Davyann and Eric kicked off stewardship month by going through a list of all the ways we all show up in service to one another. Sometimes those ways are things that we do not see as service, like getting out of our pajamas on Sunday morning and coming to church.

Your presence is a gift that you give this church, as well as your prayers, your listening, your helping, and giving. It is all part of showing up prepared to serve in whatever way or capacity you can on any given day.

Some days, it might not feel like you have a lot to give but you show up, messy hair and all. Some days, you might tune in online, pajamas and all. Some days, maybe not that, but you send a prayer. Some days, maybe not that either, but you smile at the clerk at Wal-Mart who looks like they are having a harder day than you. There are many ways to serve, many ways that the Kingdom of God opens up in our midst when we reach out to each other and the world in love and action for the sake of justice and love.

So, how are you called to be ready? How is this church called? We are waiting for Jesus, yes. We are waiting to see what comes for us at the end of our lives, yes. But we are also called to be of service now, to be watching for the Kingdom of God now, to be ready to serve and enter into that holy space where God is present in our midst now, as well.

One of the most common questions I hear from folks is about purpose, particularly when there are conversations like this. It’s not always obvious how we are called to serve.

We know that we are called by Jesus to be the light of the world, but how each of us is meant to shine is different. And sometimes this is a really hard question for us to answer.

So, I’d like you to try something with me, particularly if you are asking this question of purpose in your heart. I’m going to ask you to use your imagination in a moment, to imagine what the Kingdom of God might look like, feel like, sound like. Since it is Stewardship Month, I invite you to consider what might the Kingdom of God look like here at Faith Lutheran. If we imagine Faith shining its light on our little hill, as a true beacon of God’s hope, peace, love, and beauty, what do you see? If you’d rather do this imagination exercise about your own life or our beautiful city, country, or the world, please feel free to do so. God is working in all those places. We are called to be ready with our trimmed lamps and oil in all those ways. So, settle into your chair, take a deep breath, close your eyes or soften your gaze. Let us invite the Holy Spirit to guide our imaginations to wonder about God’s justice, love, faith, and peace and what it looks like/feels like/sounds like here at Faith.

If we imagine heaven opening right here, what do you hear? People laughing? Children playing? What is the music like? What does the church look like? Same as usual? Different? What might be going on in different rooms? What does it make you feel like in your heart? What are others doing? What are you doing? What is different than now? What is the same?

I’ll be quiet for a minute to let your imagination flow.

What did you see or experience? Did you see a new way for you to be ready to serve? Or feel reinforced about what you’re already doing? Anyone use their imagination to explore the Kingdom of God in a different context?

I asked you to use your imagination to explore this idea, because we can sometimes be limited in what we think we can do, what we should do.

How many of us are watching the news these days in dismay or fear? We wonder, what can we do? What should we do? Our imaginations along with prayer may open our hearts and minds to see God’s call on our lives more clearly.

You may find that your heart is too weary today to “see” service in your imagination. The Holy Spirit may have very well shown you your couch with a favorite blanket. There are always seasons of life when our service to the Kingdom of God is to be quiet, to pray, or to receive the gifts of others’ giving. Our participation in the Kingdom doesn’t always look the same for us from day to day. To serve the Kingdom of God is to be honest with God and let God lead the way. For you today, that may be to cry in despair, as Jesus did from the Cross. You are still completely wanted in this community. Your presence is sacred and important. You are a gift, no matter what.

We are always called to be in loving community with each other. Exactly what that looks like, what that means for each of us may be different. It may be surprising.

I can tell you one thing, it never occurred to me that my hair would be an act of service until I sat down in the stylist’s chair before my friend’s wedding and I got a good look at what a train wreck it was. I took for granted that my hair was my business. And it is…sort of…until I saw how it wasn’t just about me.

The way we live our lives in all the big and small choices we have are all ways we can love others well. Love God, love the world, love our communities, families, pets, and even ourselves. We can be ready, watchful, and prepared to love and sometimes when we do, the Kingdom of God does indeed open up in our midst, even if just a little bit.

AMEN